Let Brandi Be Your Candy

I very very very much want to be the chosen slave to serve Akasha for the next month. Every time the training reaches another level with the messages and the web cams and the all too brief phone call during one of the chats I get even more excited and more into it and just heedlessly dive in deeper to submit and obey and please with all the effort I can. Just the idea of advancing to that next level of submission fills me with yet an even deeper desire to put everything I have into surrendering and giving all I can to provide the utmost service for Akasha.

What I have to offer is the very same eagerness and dedication and honesty that I have put into all my lessons and the chats. I think I do a very good job of expressing my feelings and reactions in text and messages and responding very enthusiastically (and whorishly) in chats. I am very much a novice in some ways but always try my hardest to complete any task with an eye on pleasing the one who gave it while in other places I am more experienced and take full advantage of how deeply involved I can get in something.

For Akasha I would focus on surrendering as fully as possible everything that I had to give - my body and my mind and even my manhood and my dignity. I would submit to sissification beyond even what was done in these lessons. I would wear panties every day. I would leave my cock trapped in the cb6000 every day and go further in chastity than I ever have before if she wishes. I would turn my ass over to her as she used it until it really was able to take a full dildo. I would shave myself in places I have never shaved before.

Of course in the end it is not about a list or at least not about my list. It is about doing what she chooses to have me do - doing what will bring her pleasure at that moment. Even if it is one of my less favorite things (like the nipple clamps) or something I might initially find a bit odd like having to put on the hockey equipment for her that is what I need to do. I make it through the clamps and I discover just how arousing the hockey stuff can be because of the pleasure that Akasha derives from it.

I want to put everything I have into serving her and push myself further than ever - not just because I want to be chosen for this but because that is how I want to submit for her. The deeper I get the more the submissiveness takes hold and the easier it is to fall further into it.

I would make myself very available to her at all times and be extremely attentive. I would turn myself over to her and trust in her completely putting my enthusiasm and obedience and sluttiness totally at her disposal (along with all my nice gear and nasty outfits and hockey equipment).

So many of the things in these trainings and the chats are scary and exciting - usually both at the same time - and I imagine that the same will hold true for what would transpire if I was chosen except much much more so. Just that brief phone call during one of the chats was almost enough to make my heart or my brain explode. I worry about just how far Akasha could take things and just how much I would helplessly lose control both to her and to the desires that she expertly channels. I worry and yet I so want to find out.

So far I have learned a great deal - how to find the excitement in things I might not get at first and how to push myself through greater levels of desperation and torment and how to truly concentrate on just what the domme wants from a situation. I truly hope to additionally learn about how Akasha responds to submission right then and there beyond just the typed words to a group of sluts in a chat and how I can best submit and react to the immediate demands she would make to bring her the most pleasure. I very very much want to know what the deeper and more personal levels of submission to Akasha are and I so badly want to experience them.


Brandi

Begging

I had to choose the recording option for lesson nine. I have been in a very desperate state of mind today and figured that was the best way to capture it even though it probably did not come out as organized as something I might write here. It is not always easy to think completely straight when I am in this much desperation except when I am thinking about other things. I truly hope that my message succeeded in its mission and not just so that my suffering may end (temporarily) but because pleasing Akasha is very much the whole point of it.


Brandi

Overwhelming

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Outfit

Being transformed into a sissy pushes my submissive buttons very hard. Having to surrender something that I value so much - my masculinity - for a woman and endure the shame and humiliation of wearing panties or worse for her makes me so hot. The farther I go the further I want to go.

Here are some pictures of the red and black Christmas ensemble I put together.

Brandi

Ultimate

For this lesson I tried to think of something that would be extremely humiliating and entirely new to me. Although I have cum in a number of pretty shameful ways - many of which were devised by Akasha - I have never had to lick my cum up off of a stationary object. I decided that I would cum onto a plate and lap it up with my hands secured behind my back. I figured that the added element of bondage would further please Akasha.

To make the act even more humiliating and degrading I attempted to also do the making myself cum without using my hands. I wrapped an old shirt tightly around the shaft of my hard cock leaving the head free and lowered myself to the ground with my cock right in front of the plate. I then started to slide my cock back and forth with as much friction as I could manage. I was quickly overcome with humiliation especially after I started imagining that Akasha and Miss Blue and their friends were watching. It is one thing to come up with these shameful ideas but to actually perform them is a different story. I knew I looked completely ridiculous and totally whorish trying to get myself off like that. The women would have been having an extremely good laugh and I would have been blushing even more if that was possible.

Unfortunately that position was not working very well and I was not really getting anywhere. I made a stack of large books and positioned my cock on top of that to give myself better leverage (or something). After another very shameful display of thrusting and grinding I still was not getting as far along as I needed to. I am sure with the proper equipment there may have been some way for it to work but I could not figure it out and I needed to get to the next part of my degredation.

I made myself cum onto the plate and then leaned over it on my hands and knees. Before I started to lap it up I actually raised my head back up and looked around. Even though I was alone in my locked apartment some part of my mind had to be even more sure that I was not being seen as I did something so unbelievably embarassing. Realizing what I was doing there was pretty embrassing in itself. I wondered if I really should go through with it and do something so dirty but I told myself I had to.

I then went about lapping up the cum from the plate with my hands behind my back. Each lick got a little bit of cum onto my tongue but pushed the rest of the cum forward on the plate. The cum tasted even worse than usual - almost as bad as the unfrozen cum from an earlier training. I kept lapping away chasing the pile of cum down the plate. I felt so shameful and it was like my entire body was blushing. It took a while to get all of the cum. Once I was done with the main pile there were a couple smaller ones and then I had to drag my tongue all over the plate to make sure I did not leave a drop. I was reduced to a cumlapping whore. As I cleaned everything up I again had that moment where I could not believe what I had just done.


Brandi

Face

It was pretty nasty the first time I had to cum on my face for the training but doing it again for this lesson was much much nastier because of what I was required to do afterward. Even the sluttiest whore would wipe her face clean of cum - even licking it off or wiping it off and sucking it off her fingers would not be anywhere near as dirty as just leaving it there. I felt so absolutely filthy for those three hours as I felt the sticky cum on my face. I could feel its wetness so constantly and wanted to wipe it off but of course I could not. Then after a while when it hardened a bit I could feel how it tightly held my skin when my skin tried to bend in the smallest of ways due to facial movements. Encrusted with cum - so truly degrading.

When I did cum I followed the instructions to the letter and closed my eyes which caused me to miss my mouth almost entirely. With my eyes open I can hit the target pretty well but in this case almost all of it fell short or to the side. I would up with cum on my chin and cheeks and a little bit on my upper chest. That last bit clung to some chest hair and caused pieces to stick together.

Not wanting to get anything on my clothes I spent the three hours shirtless. I did drink some water but I do not think I got any cum on my glass. The first half hour or so was the worst because I could feel two large droplets of cum on my face - how big they were and how they were ever so so so slowly moving downward.

The experience made me feel as filthy and shameful and used as I think I have ever felt. What a total cumslut I was.

Brandi

Bound

Bondage obviously makes me feel excited and it makes me feel not in control. From there comes the feeling of anticipation and the unsureness of not knowing what the woman who has me in bondage will do next. Will she tease me? Will she torment me? Will she use me? It can drive me crazy. Whatever it turns out to be I am powerless to stop her. She is in control and that makes me feel even more submissive and more obedient. Seeing her enjoying her power over me and my helplessness is also extremely delicious.

The first time I was bound at all was when I was a little kid. I liked to be tied up so that I could escape. Maybe because I did not realize back then that there would be women I would not want to (or dare not try to) escape from. I was quite good at it actually.

The first time I was bound and gagged in a sexual context was with a girl who had me tied to the four corners of the bed and gagged with a ball gag. I do not think I really knew how much I would be into this kind of thing back then but I instantly found it extremely exciting. She was really into the teasing and had her hands all over my body. It made me want her very very badly (I previously just wanted her very badly) and I was pulling at the restraints pretty hard after a while. The pure desire was incredible.

It was later when I really saw the thing that probably makes me hotter than anything - the look deep in her eyes as she sees I am at her mercy and that that fact and my surrender please her so incredibly much. Then she begins deciding what to do with me and we are back to the anticipation I described in the first paragraph.

The pictures for this lesson I am sending privately to Akasha. I do have to say it is no easy task getting myself into position in bondage in the ten seconds I have before my digital camera takes a delayed picture. I think I sustained numerous very minor injuries in the process too.

I will be off to the airport soon for my Thanksgiving trip so the next lesson will be a little late. I will try to have it written on Sunday if I can.


Brandi