Let Brandi Be Your Candy

I very very very much want to be the chosen slave to serve Akasha for the next month. Every time the training reaches another level with the messages and the web cams and the all too brief phone call during one of the chats I get even more excited and more into it and just heedlessly dive in deeper to submit and obey and please with all the effort I can. Just the idea of advancing to that next level of submission fills me with yet an even deeper desire to put everything I have into surrendering and giving all I can to provide the utmost service for Akasha.

What I have to offer is the very same eagerness and dedication and honesty that I have put into all my lessons and the chats. I think I do a very good job of expressing my feelings and reactions in text and messages and responding very enthusiastically (and whorishly) in chats. I am very much a novice in some ways but always try my hardest to complete any task with an eye on pleasing the one who gave it while in other places I am more experienced and take full advantage of how deeply involved I can get in something.

For Akasha I would focus on surrendering as fully as possible everything that I had to give - my body and my mind and even my manhood and my dignity. I would submit to sissification beyond even what was done in these lessons. I would wear panties every day. I would leave my cock trapped in the cb6000 every day and go further in chastity than I ever have before if she wishes. I would turn my ass over to her as she used it until it really was able to take a full dildo. I would shave myself in places I have never shaved before.

Of course in the end it is not about a list or at least not about my list. It is about doing what she chooses to have me do - doing what will bring her pleasure at that moment. Even if it is one of my less favorite things (like the nipple clamps) or something I might initially find a bit odd like having to put on the hockey equipment for her that is what I need to do. I make it through the clamps and I discover just how arousing the hockey stuff can be because of the pleasure that Akasha derives from it.

I want to put everything I have into serving her and push myself further than ever - not just because I want to be chosen for this but because that is how I want to submit for her. The deeper I get the more the submissiveness takes hold and the easier it is to fall further into it.

I would make myself very available to her at all times and be extremely attentive. I would turn myself over to her and trust in her completely putting my enthusiasm and obedience and sluttiness totally at her disposal (along with all my nice gear and nasty outfits and hockey equipment).

So many of the things in these trainings and the chats are scary and exciting - usually both at the same time - and I imagine that the same will hold true for what would transpire if I was chosen except much much more so. Just that brief phone call during one of the chats was almost enough to make my heart or my brain explode. I worry about just how far Akasha could take things and just how much I would helplessly lose control both to her and to the desires that she expertly channels. I worry and yet I so want to find out.

So far I have learned a great deal - how to find the excitement in things I might not get at first and how to push myself through greater levels of desperation and torment and how to truly concentrate on just what the domme wants from a situation. I truly hope to additionally learn about how Akasha responds to submission right then and there beyond just the typed words to a group of sluts in a chat and how I can best submit and react to the immediate demands she would make to bring her the most pleasure. I very very much want to know what the deeper and more personal levels of submission to Akasha are and I so badly want to experience them.


Brandi

Begging

I had to choose the recording option for lesson nine. I have been in a very desperate state of mind today and figured that was the best way to capture it even though it probably did not come out as organized as something I might write here. It is not always easy to think completely straight when I am in this much desperation except when I am thinking about other things. I truly hope that my message succeeded in its mission and not just so that my suffering may end (temporarily) but because pleasing Akasha is very much the whole point of it.


Brandi

Overwhelming

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Outfit

Being transformed into a sissy pushes my submissive buttons very hard. Having to surrender something that I value so much - my masculinity - for a woman and endure the shame and humiliation of wearing panties or worse for her makes me so hot. The farther I go the further I want to go.

Here are some pictures of the red and black Christmas ensemble I put together.

Brandi

Ultimate

For this lesson I tried to think of something that would be extremely humiliating and entirely new to me. Although I have cum in a number of pretty shameful ways - many of which were devised by Akasha - I have never had to lick my cum up off of a stationary object. I decided that I would cum onto a plate and lap it up with my hands secured behind my back. I figured that the added element of bondage would further please Akasha.

To make the act even more humiliating and degrading I attempted to also do the making myself cum without using my hands. I wrapped an old shirt tightly around the shaft of my hard cock leaving the head free and lowered myself to the ground with my cock right in front of the plate. I then started to slide my cock back and forth with as much friction as I could manage. I was quickly overcome with humiliation especially after I started imagining that Akasha and Miss Blue and their friends were watching. It is one thing to come up with these shameful ideas but to actually perform them is a different story. I knew I looked completely ridiculous and totally whorish trying to get myself off like that. The women would have been having an extremely good laugh and I would have been blushing even more if that was possible.

Unfortunately that position was not working very well and I was not really getting anywhere. I made a stack of large books and positioned my cock on top of that to give myself better leverage (or something). After another very shameful display of thrusting and grinding I still was not getting as far along as I needed to. I am sure with the proper equipment there may have been some way for it to work but I could not figure it out and I needed to get to the next part of my degredation.

I made myself cum onto the plate and then leaned over it on my hands and knees. Before I started to lap it up I actually raised my head back up and looked around. Even though I was alone in my locked apartment some part of my mind had to be even more sure that I was not being seen as I did something so unbelievably embarassing. Realizing what I was doing there was pretty embrassing in itself. I wondered if I really should go through with it and do something so dirty but I told myself I had to.

I then went about lapping up the cum from the plate with my hands behind my back. Each lick got a little bit of cum onto my tongue but pushed the rest of the cum forward on the plate. The cum tasted even worse than usual - almost as bad as the unfrozen cum from an earlier training. I kept lapping away chasing the pile of cum down the plate. I felt so shameful and it was like my entire body was blushing. It took a while to get all of the cum. Once I was done with the main pile there were a couple smaller ones and then I had to drag my tongue all over the plate to make sure I did not leave a drop. I was reduced to a cumlapping whore. As I cleaned everything up I again had that moment where I could not believe what I had just done.


Brandi

Face

It was pretty nasty the first time I had to cum on my face for the training but doing it again for this lesson was much much nastier because of what I was required to do afterward. Even the sluttiest whore would wipe her face clean of cum - even licking it off or wiping it off and sucking it off her fingers would not be anywhere near as dirty as just leaving it there. I felt so absolutely filthy for those three hours as I felt the sticky cum on my face. I could feel its wetness so constantly and wanted to wipe it off but of course I could not. Then after a while when it hardened a bit I could feel how it tightly held my skin when my skin tried to bend in the smallest of ways due to facial movements. Encrusted with cum - so truly degrading.

When I did cum I followed the instructions to the letter and closed my eyes which caused me to miss my mouth almost entirely. With my eyes open I can hit the target pretty well but in this case almost all of it fell short or to the side. I would up with cum on my chin and cheeks and a little bit on my upper chest. That last bit clung to some chest hair and caused pieces to stick together.

Not wanting to get anything on my clothes I spent the three hours shirtless. I did drink some water but I do not think I got any cum on my glass. The first half hour or so was the worst because I could feel two large droplets of cum on my face - how big they were and how they were ever so so so slowly moving downward.

The experience made me feel as filthy and shameful and used as I think I have ever felt. What a total cumslut I was.

Brandi

Bound

Bondage obviously makes me feel excited and it makes me feel not in control. From there comes the feeling of anticipation and the unsureness of not knowing what the woman who has me in bondage will do next. Will she tease me? Will she torment me? Will she use me? It can drive me crazy. Whatever it turns out to be I am powerless to stop her. She is in control and that makes me feel even more submissive and more obedient. Seeing her enjoying her power over me and my helplessness is also extremely delicious.

The first time I was bound at all was when I was a little kid. I liked to be tied up so that I could escape. Maybe because I did not realize back then that there would be women I would not want to (or dare not try to) escape from. I was quite good at it actually.

The first time I was bound and gagged in a sexual context was with a girl who had me tied to the four corners of the bed and gagged with a ball gag. I do not think I really knew how much I would be into this kind of thing back then but I instantly found it extremely exciting. She was really into the teasing and had her hands all over my body. It made me want her very very badly (I previously just wanted her very badly) and I was pulling at the restraints pretty hard after a while. The pure desire was incredible.

It was later when I really saw the thing that probably makes me hotter than anything - the look deep in her eyes as she sees I am at her mercy and that that fact and my surrender please her so incredibly much. Then she begins deciding what to do with me and we are back to the anticipation I described in the first paragraph.

The pictures for this lesson I am sending privately to Akasha. I do have to say it is no easy task getting myself into position in bondage in the ten seconds I have before my digital camera takes a delayed picture. I think I sustained numerous very minor injuries in the process too.

I will be off to the airport soon for my Thanksgiving trip so the next lesson will be a little late. I will try to have it written on Sunday if I can.


Brandi

Hungry

From Akasha's story "Using His Mouth" it is clear that Akasha is the one who decides how she is pleased. At the beginning her submissive thinks that he gets to make the choice and asks to please her with his mouth because he wants to taste her. Akasha takes his request in a different direction receiving the pleasure she wants and letting him know that it is her decision. She completely uses and objectifies him and draws additional pleasure from his frustration at not having what he wanted. At the end of the story he does get to please her with his tongue perhaps because he took things her way so well but also because that is what Akasha wanted then.

For my cocksucking practice I used my big seven and a half inch dildo that has balls and a suction cup. The size makes me feel even more humiliated as I lick and suck it. I feel very emasculated and ashamed on my knees with the dildo stuck to a wall and me lapping and kissing and slurping. My eyes are almost always open to take in what a whore I am and how big the dildo I am sucking on is. Because the dildo is so wide it takes me a little bit to be able to get it all the way in my mouth but with the whipped cream it became very slippery and I was able to move my lips up and down the shaft at a very fast pace just like a true whore.

I got further down than I ever had before because I was so hot and horny and because of the slippery whipped cream. I could feel the head of the dildo pushing deeper down my throat than I had ever felt it. That just made me feel more dirty and more ashamed but then that made get into the cocksucking even more. I felt especially nasty licking hard at the balls of the dildo but at the same time I was lost in being a total whore. That made it pretty easy to keep focused along with being able to play with my clittie. The part of the lesson where Akasha said she wants arousal associated with cocksucking definitely scared me but it was impossible not to be extremely turned on at being such a hungry slut for her. Just thinking about it now with my clittie locked back away in the chastity cage - straining so painfully - makes me blush but yet I would gladly allow her to do that to me to please her.


I should be available to perform for Akasha and her friends at just about any time between now and late Wednesday night. I would love to show her just what a devoted cocksucking slut I can be and while the idea of some of her girlfriends witnessing it as well is a bit daunting I cannot resist the idea of being an even bigger whore and enduring even greater humiliation for Akasha by having to perform in front of them too.

Brandi

Viewed

Tonight I was lucky enough to be a whore for Akasha on webcam. Although I was very nervous about it I could of course not begin to resist. Akasha had me dress in a very feminine outfit - a pink babydoll and a pink g-string and pink stockings each with a big pink bow at the top and pink heels. I also wore my chastity cage (of course) and the collar she had sent me. I looked like an owned slut.

My heart was definitely pounding and I was blushing quite often - enough that it could be seen over the cam. Akasha had me perform for her in very shameful and nasty ways. Even though I was embarassed quite a bit I could not stop myself and became a total whore for her. I was extremely happy to hear that she was enjoying my sluttish display even as my cock swelled in its right little chastity cage driving me to even greater agony than what a week of chastity has already put me in.

Pleasing Akasha this way was very exciting even as it was humiliating and daunting. I felt so used and exposed yet I was so eager for more. It was very hot to know that Akasha was taking her pleasure from it and I wish I could have served her for hours more. Akasha did leave me with one last task - to wear my babydoll and g-string to bed. As with everything else I can only obey.


Brandi

Control

Deciding what scares me the most in Akasha's story "The Third Way" is difficult because so much of it is quite scary - the complete helplessness of the straightjacket and hood and the rough treatment Akasha delivers with all her toys and having to pleasure her in such difficult and demanding manners. There is an overall theme though - Akasha is in total control and she is at her most ruthless and brutal (I can only hope). The word 'rape' does not pop up repeatedly for no reason. There is no playing back with her - Tristan would be in for a rude awakening if he tried anything. Akasha wants what she wants and she is taking it and taking it with force.

Having to submit to that type of treatment is very scary especially with my lack of experience at taking it the 'second way'. Under normal circumstances I would not expect a domme to give me more than I can take (or at least not too much more) but with a woman in that mood I would not know if I would survive even as I tried to do everything I could to satisfy her hunger. I would have to put my faith in myself and in her and just surrender.

As always doing the shopping is perhaps even scarier to me because I am really afraid of the possibility of being exposed and embarassed in public by regular people. Making it as far as the counter in the department store and managing to briefly come to a stop there actually managed to be a new mark in how far I have gone.

Luckily I do at least have some nail polish and some pantyhose although the nail polish is somewhere between red and pink. Having painted toenails is pretty distracting when I think about them and realize how I am so humiliatingly marked but I do forget about them at times which can lead to trouble especially when I get up in the morning and open the door to grab the newspaper. Worrying about what can happen when I forget about the toenails is one of the most scary things about having them. Knowing they are this shiny pinkish-red color makes me feel quite a bit shameful and emasculated but I guess it fits right in with my shaved cock and the pantyhose and I eagerly serve in this manner and endure the humiliation for Akasha.


Brandi

Surrendering

In Akasha's story "Tristan" Tristan seems to know just how to walk the very fine line between submitting and resisting. He always surrenders to Akasha in the end - his lips and his body and his being - but does not just lay there meekly for her use. Even with his limbs bound he utilizes what he has left - his eyes and his voice (until he is gagged) and what little movement he can manage.

Tristan's actions get Akasha very hot - especially his "look" - so much so that they cause her to lose focus and that leads to Akasha reasserting her control in severe ways. It seems that he knows this and yet resists anyways to allow her the opportunity to rachet up the intensity and bring about the increased sensations that result. Since Akasha is always in control and making the decisions it does not seem to be topping from the bottom - she could just as easily tell him to stop or simply ignore him.

Tristan knows that Akasha's pleasure is his true goal. He takes her animalistic fucking in the middle of the story for her and at the end he puts his actions to use to heighten her orgasm. The very resistance he gives there is in fact a surrender - devoting himself only to her greater pleasure.

In my experience seeing and hearing the pleasure that my domme takes from my submission is what really drives me. I want to bring her pleasure and endure her torments just to provide that enjoyment. The wide smile and the deep look of wicked pleasure in her eyes is just so incredible.

I definitely do my best to present similar types of verbal "tools" like Tristan did in the story. Normally as a guy I would want to hide certain reactions since guys are supposed to be somewhat stoic and not make certain noises. I give up my resistance and let her hear my panting and my groaning and sighing and whimpering and moaning. I let her see my distaste when I have to do something particularly nasty so she knows just how much I do not like it yet I am doing it for her. That gives her greater pleasure which is my goal just like it was for Tristan. At the same time one must never fake it because that would reduce the effect of every reaction once their legitimacy came into question.

As much as I cannot stand it the only time I have cum since beginning this training was when Akasha gave permission during her chat. Chastity drives me completely insane but I want to submit everything that I can to Akasha for this training. The cb6000 actually helps since it keeps me from making a mistake. I can be a very very horny slut and when I get extra extra hot it can be difficult to control myself. I have to do my best to remember what is truly important and my pleasure is not it. I do not own my cock - Akasha does.

...mercy

Akasha's Property

Brandi