Bondage obviously makes me feel excited and it makes me feel not in control. From there comes the feeling of anticipation and the unsureness of not knowing what the woman who has me in bondage will do next. Will she tease me? Will she torment me? Will she use me? It can drive me crazy. Whatever it turns out to be I am powerless to stop her. She is in control and that makes me feel even more submissive and more obedient. Seeing her enjoying her power over me and my helplessness is also extremely delicious.
The first time I was bound at all was when I was a little kid. I liked to be tied up so that I could escape. Maybe because I did not realize back then that there would be women I would not want to (or dare not try to) escape from. I was quite good at it actually.
The first time I was bound and gagged in a sexual context was with a girl who had me tied to the four corners of the bed and gagged with a ball gag. I do not think I really knew how much I would be into this kind of thing back then but I instantly found it extremely exciting. She was really into the teasing and had her hands all over my body. It made me want her very very badly (I previously just wanted her very badly) and I was pulling at the restraints pretty hard after a while. The pure desire was incredible.
It was later when I really saw the thing that probably makes me hotter than anything - the look deep in her eyes as she sees I am at her mercy and that that fact and my surrender please her so incredibly much. Then she begins deciding what to do with me and we are back to the anticipation I described in the first paragraph.
The pictures for this lesson I am sending privately to Akasha. I do have to say it is no easy task getting myself into position in bondage in the ten seconds I have before my digital camera takes a delayed picture. I think I sustained numerous very minor injuries in the process too.
I will be off to the airport soon for my Thanksgiving trip so the next lesson will be a little late. I will try to have it written on Sunday if I can.
Brandi
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