Control

Deciding what scares me the most in Akasha's story "The Third Way" is difficult because so much of it is quite scary - the complete helplessness of the straightjacket and hood and the rough treatment Akasha delivers with all her toys and having to pleasure her in such difficult and demanding manners. There is an overall theme though - Akasha is in total control and she is at her most ruthless and brutal (I can only hope). The word 'rape' does not pop up repeatedly for no reason. There is no playing back with her - Tristan would be in for a rude awakening if he tried anything. Akasha wants what she wants and she is taking it and taking it with force.

Having to submit to that type of treatment is very scary especially with my lack of experience at taking it the 'second way'. Under normal circumstances I would not expect a domme to give me more than I can take (or at least not too much more) but with a woman in that mood I would not know if I would survive even as I tried to do everything I could to satisfy her hunger. I would have to put my faith in myself and in her and just surrender.

As always doing the shopping is perhaps even scarier to me because I am really afraid of the possibility of being exposed and embarassed in public by regular people. Making it as far as the counter in the department store and managing to briefly come to a stop there actually managed to be a new mark in how far I have gone.

Luckily I do at least have some nail polish and some pantyhose although the nail polish is somewhere between red and pink. Having painted toenails is pretty distracting when I think about them and realize how I am so humiliatingly marked but I do forget about them at times which can lead to trouble especially when I get up in the morning and open the door to grab the newspaper. Worrying about what can happen when I forget about the toenails is one of the most scary things about having them. Knowing they are this shiny pinkish-red color makes me feel quite a bit shameful and emasculated but I guess it fits right in with my shaved cock and the pantyhose and I eagerly serve in this manner and endure the humiliation for Akasha.


Brandi